Tre Bien M'amor

Tre Bien M'amor

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The girl in the empty matinee

The girl in the empty matinee
Sits alone, dreaming her heart away.

The boy in the crowded balcony,
Walks away, hoping for a brighter day.

Leaning forward, toward the edge
He sees a girl his heart would pledge.

The lights begin to fade,
Her eyes wandering among the stage.

A chilling feeling down her back,
Gave her reason to look at.

This boy, who could not leave her gaze,
In it he could be happy the rest of his days.

Slowly moving through the dark,
The boy moved in desire of that spark.

Swiftly sitting right beside her,
He kissed her cheek sweetly, making her glow like fire.

He whispered something in her ear,
And a certain joy on their faces did soon appear.

She reached for him slowly in utter bliss,
And for all to see they did passionately kiss.

Now she is no longer the girl in the empty matinee,
And he is neither the boy in the crowded balcony.

They are now the couple at the show,
To be envied by all who watch them as they kiss down below.

I'm not sorry

I'm not sorry for the things I said,
Those romantic notes I left you
While you sweetly dreamed in bed.
I'm not sorry for the things I have done,
Embracing you tightly under setting sun.
I'm not sorry for wanting you,
Holding your soft pretty hands as I walked with you
I'm not sorry for needing you,
When you cried in my arms
I was the one who believed in you.
But most of all,
I'm not sorry for this,
I love you and it is you that I miss

Let's just fall in love again

The tree's rustled and whistled as the sweet summer wind swept through their vibrantly beautiful branches and caressed the tips of their leaves. My friend beside me began to pluck his guitar when the trees had begun their melodious chorus, creating the musings of love his fingers flowed up and down the fret as the strings gleamed in the summer sun. I closed my eyes ridding myself of the anxieties of the moment, the tightness of my throat and clouded visions of my mind cleared as I began to sing. I rehearsed it for hours, until my voice became hoarse and almost inaudible. This would be my last act of love for you, my last chance to change your mind and let your heart tell the truth.

The leaves cracked and crunched under your worn converse and the light bounced around your beautiful blond hair as it sashayed across your face while you walked into the park. Head down and hands in your pockets, I knew the last thing you wanted to do was look at me and have to make your decision. My friend played louder, coating the crowd and their raucous chatter in a familiar sound. Tapping my foot on the aged wood of the table, feeling it's dense and dusty complexion, I mirrored the beat and shut out the world, all except wonderful you and the song to save our love. Hands clasped tight in stress I threw it all to chance and continued to sing.

Lifting my head, from the ground I see you looking now, curious as to what is erupting from the crowd of people. The song and the sound were comfortable and calming to you, coming from the depths of a place you know all too well. I started to stand feeling more confident and needing to see that gorgeous face I had come to love so dearly. Jumping upon the top of the picnic table stealing the attention of everyone present I just let the emotion take over, the flooding uncontrollable rush of fear and flying. I closed my eyes and just let loose, the tempo picked up and I began to smile as I swayed to the song. I began to leap from table to table each inevitable lunge a proclamation to the risk I was taking to win you over, all over again.

The acoustic twang of his guitar followed close behind me, lifting me over the crowd, the uncertainty, and the doubtful persuasion of the unfortunate possibilities. So I faced it head on, I stared into your vibrant blue eyes, the engaging sapphire gems that made my heart pound and made my hands shake like tremors of the earth. You would never know it though, my smile was too big and my singing was too cheerful for you to realize what I was working toward could possibly plunge me into the hell of a broken heart. I sat directly face to face with you, your sleeve smothering what I hoped to be a bright smile in pitch black nonexistence. I began to play with the words moving from side to side as I motioned out the lyrics with my hands as I sung them as loud and as heart felt as possible never letting my eyes glance away from yours.

As the song began to reach its final lines I saw it, the way you squinted your eyes that always told me you were happy. So I walked up close to you, letting my emotions connect to yours, and I whispered the final lyric in your ear "so let's just fall in love again." I wiped away those golden locks and kissed your smooth porcelain forehead, sweetly lingering a second to let the moment take effect and then walked away. Hands in my pockets and my crimson red hood pulled tight over my head I walked to the bridge not too far from where I left you standing in certain shock and hopeful surprise. As I came near to placing my foot on the bridge feeling the slight creak of the worn wood as three kids joyfully ran past unleashing a symphony of squeaking while I smiled at their energetic state of play. Before I could take that step you ran into me, wrapping your arms around me so tight it were as if I was marching off to war, to die. As I stood there smiling in relief like I had never known and feeling the accumulation of your tears gathering in my sweatshirt I heard you faintly say "I'm sorry for thinking that my love for you was ever a lie…" So I unclasped your hands, wrenched so tight that they had become pink and turned around to see your pretty, rosy face turned unhappily red from the tears as I went to hold you close, but before I did anything I touched my head to yours and said "good, cause I'm not sorry for loving you."

I looked deep into your eyes as my heart broke the threshold of its potential, the dam that was my will power shattered into pieces. I picked you up, holding you tight with one arm as the other lifted you toward my embrace. I kissed you with a deep ravenous passion like I had never known before and at that moment as I cried from joy and felt your hands grab my sweatshirt, the wind blew off my hood and made the trees and sun dance almost in approval and utter bliss of what took place just then, nearly screaming to the two of us that it was never supposed to end just yet. Holding you with boundless strength and feeling as though our passion had attained new depths, the only thought that passed through my mind was "this is love, all over again…"

Pouring Rain

you told me how you felt,
I said I felt the same.
I said I would treat you better
than those who left you in the rain.
Now you're off kissing another man,
and telling him the same.
But you have left me here alone,
standing in the pouring rain.

Love is a Battle Feild

None can seem to grasp that the gentle pangs of the heart and its mellow sighs to which we acknowledge as love are as eruptive and roaring as the hells of war. Canon fire blazing fast and destructive but a mere purr of the devastation to which a broken heart thunders away in the midst of cracking. Nobody, and yet everybody is but a simple fool to this Great War’s seduction and all succumb to recruitment into the vast armies of both sides of man and mistress. No one emerges unscathed, dirtied and scarred yet slightly wiser to the secrets of warfare, slightly wiser that love is their battlefield.

There is no escape in this entrapment of grass, ground, and shattered purple hearts. There is no leave for those made insane, made unwhole and harmed, only a longer wait for recovery and sweet release to the world of doves and fluttering hearts. Pain is of another kind, only dispersing till the last person to scar your tattered heart has been overcome by your will or freedom is but a vow and kiss away. In this fight of passions every blow becomes a scar, a scar that remains as vivid as those sharp memories from which you pull your pain.

No one plays this game the same. The cowards hug their guns and shift in the shadows, afraid of anyone who gets close enough to draw blood from their unscathed frame and shivering conscious. You may reach your hand past the gun, smile and console them into comfort but the bayonet just slides slowly toward the point where effort is pain and each beat is a reason to give in. Words are wasted, romantic gestures another degree that the trigger is pulled till the clank of snapping metal and sparks send bullets bursting your heart. The coward remains the same, saved in their own ignorant mind, but the one who tried to help, tried to make you believe love was more than blood and bad intentions, now lies beside you shattered, shaking and alone.

This is a war created by those that hide and harm, trick and track. Kind souls are few and feared for the wrong reasons, they bare no arms but those god gave them to console and hold with, hold you tight to know you’re loved. Jackets whipping in the wind expose bare chests and unstrapped helmets sure signs that they no not how to fight but only how to give a heart. They know pain more than any, scarred and damaged till bandages are a common dress and purple hearts shake and shimmer off swinging sleeves. We never tire of being hopeful, never tire of daring to dream that as mangled as our hearts can get and as tired as our legs become, love’s soothing feel will coarse through us and break us of our ravaged shape.

True love, fleeting and rare is your leave from this torn perspective of chancing your heart in hopes of something breathe taking, your way to fly out into the world beyond bomb shells and beaten aspirations. Your leave from the concrete uncertainty that comes from the white coats which piece together your ability to move forward and forget the pulsating pain of a heart beat. Love is your reason for each lumbered step, for each heavy breath, every word of great depth. Love is why the soldier carries on, past the lies of freedom, beyond the barricades of closed hearts; love is why the soldier sings out across the expanse of endless pain. Finding love is a battlefield, cold and harsh, but love is out there, screaming for compassion, a caring kiss, a hand to hold, a reason to believe you’re on the way.

More than words

Children and families filled the air with an almost bitter sweet happiness as laughter engulfed the silence. Father Christmas warming the crowds with blazing red cheeks and overwhelming holiday cheer for all. Flashing ornaments blinding your vision with joy provoking colors. Tree’s lined the way to the park square as the giant symbol of this time stood tall and shining in the middle of a gleaming fountain.

But none of this caught my attention, lost in the depths of my mind I sat almost empty staring at these wonders. Nothing was behind these eyes but blank gazes and meaningless views. I had escaped to my memories, a place of quiet where I could finally be at peace alone with her. This girl that made life a little more bearable, that could tempt my smile and undying need for another’s presence. I felt alive in her calming presence yet died in her depressing absence.

The true pain of my inner illusions was that she was held close by another mans arms. I envied the man that had won her in this sick game of life and yet pitied him for kidding himself into thinking he was good enough. Unfortunately, I wasn’t good enough for her myself and I never would be. Her soft features warmed by a kind smile and a laugh that could send my world into chaos as my heart pounded heavily in my chest.

Reality began to pull me back to its cruel truths and blissful ignorance as I drew breath as if I had fallen into a deep slumber. I looked around entertained by the commotion of holiday spirit and the glistening fountain spraying a fine mist of glimmering droplets across my face. All of life’s beauty and hidden wonders invoked thoughts of her never letting me rest my wiry mind but allowing me to never forget that I loved her deeply. I cleared the shimmering glitter from my face but in doing so missed the entrance of her unattainable beauty.

My heart still knew it was her, racing and beating as though it were about meet deaths final visit to this poor soul. I watched as she became a slave to her thoughts bestowing a glistening gaze upon an undeserving monument. I felt the pain of some mistake or problem leak out of her spirit despite this merry time. My body and mind dragged me towards this injured angel demanding to help it fly again. So why resist, fear could not stop my desire as my body seemed to float away dodging any obstacle to keep her from me.

I woke her from some nightmare as the gorgeous color of her eyes crept back into reality. A single grin made its way out as she felt my longing soul call out to her’s. Her body turning cold as curiosity led to tales of misplaced faith and tragic loss of love. She held back her waves of emotion with amazing ability but not even she could halt the creation of that single tear. I could apologize but words meant nothing when someone’s body rung with sounds of a heart breaking in two. I strode distances as I reached to wipe away that single tear making a gesture of compassion and confidence.

I felt her cold face suddenly ignite as she felt my thumb eradicate all the sadness that ran down her smooth cheek. Shocked that anyone could care enough to help remove her weakness, her mind tried to search me for any explanation as to why. But her heart knew the answer, it was pure emotion. Feelings that never have reason or explanation but only presence and true desire, it was the feeling of love for the first time.

Dark Blue

The crisp salty sea breeze whipped our faces as we sat divided on the bench. A month had passed since my feelings had flooded from my heart to that seemingly blank screen. What had I been thinking to justify such an act as the right way to convey my feelings? It was undeniably beautiful, the imagery simple but so precise, I had done myself in. But now here we sat hands in our laps gazing wistfully off into the sea as the sun slowly fell to drown itself in the unending sea.

She occupied my gaze still though, her being just as beautiful, just as amazing, entrancing, and addicting as anything the world had to offer. But I was ashamed to look at her that way because she had never wanted me the same way, she couldn't possibly. I sunk my head gazing down at intertwined hands that lead to empty arms. I could barely stand it as I adjusted myself stretching my arms down the back of the bench. My arms no where near her and somehow I had provoked her to trap me in her whimsical gaze.

I motioned towards her not able to immobilize myself from the need to stare at her sparkling eyes. She spoke knocking me into reality with her words woven with sweet thread. “Do you still like me?” I made an attempt to say something knowing that I couldn't lie to her but knowing that the wrong answer could mean a shattered heart. I gave up and sunk my head unfortunately giving her the answer she needed, I still did. She rose as if to walk away but she must have gone the wrong way, she must not have been thinking!

There she was laying into me flooding warmth and shock into my body as she motioned for the arm behind her, my arm! Her hand tangled in mine as it slowly wrapped around her waist to meet her other hand. I was unable too breath, dying of disbelief, drowning in emotion and suffocating of utter shock. What would make this real this perfect moment of two falling in love? “I like you too,” she layed her head into my chest killing me but reviving my ability to love another. She kept going; those few words weren’t enough to stop my thundering heart. She told me of how when she looked at me she saw more than just someone to like unlike the other man who was simply another endless chase. She looked deeper into me and found warmth, love, compassion and not something to chase but to have and hold as long as she could.

I must be being tricked somehow, deceived or toyed with but she wouldn’t do that! I had to make sure, find some definite way of knowing I wasn’t looking into smoke and mirrors. I turned my head towards her and said her name as she twisted to look at me in return. I reached out brushing her hair off from across her forehead allowing me too slowly and sweetly kiss her forehead. I tried to lean back to see her reaction but I became addicted while she was hiding a smile so innocent not even a small child could mimic it. My hand found its way through her hair as I lay another kiss on her chilled nose and then on her rosy cheeks as my hand gently rested on the other cheek keeping her still and close.

She never made the slightest move to show my unnerving paranoia any truth to what it now believed. I closed my eyes pressing my forehead to hers unable to perform the last act I wanted to do. Her lips would have been my final destination, the locked door I so badly wanted to open. Was it too soon to try or even consider opening that door? Would I find it locked and act like the desperate thief attempting to break into a locked house?

No, the door was wide open and she came rushing out to greet me with open arms and a warm hand in mine to lead the way. Her hands slowly rose up my chest, walking a long road to where they were wanted. She sent jolts through my body, tickling every nerve as the tips of her fingers lead up and down my neck. I was impatient, jumping up and down in my own mind unable to contain myself for what was too come. Her hands rested where my hand lay on her face taking in ever sensation it could possibly absorb. I leaned in bit by bit until lips met. The second they touched I felt as though I was sent flying out of my own body. Fire works exploded in vibrant colors as the sun drowned in the sea coating all in its reach with color in vibrant arrays of orange, pink and purple as if setting the world ablaze in beauty.

We ignored it all, absorbed in the moment and unable to stop it for even the end of the world. My body burned with delight as everything shut off and I was alone on the beach with the girl I would never let go of. I wished there was an action or another way to show her I cared beyond kissing. I strained my eyes so much trying to force a thought of something that would make this better. But I soon found I had turned on something, let loose the flood gates to all the love I could give her. Suddenly the moment was perfect and we had found undeniable love within one another.